A HIGH TOLERANCE OF PAIN

She was driving at least 50 miles per hour in a 25 mile zone. I was in the passenger seat of her burgundy ‘92 Toyota Corolla, breathing heavily and beginning to hyperventilate as she ran the second red light. The song “You Can Make It” was playing on the radio as she tapped along on the steering wheel and said, “See! God knows that you can make it!” As we laughed, my girlfriend flew over a wooden bridge that shook as we passed over it and the small creek below, breaking the sound barrier! “We’ll be there in a few minutes!” she continued. I felt like we would be at the hospital for the delivery of my daughter in a few seconds! I was not only afraid of the possibility of death in the way my girlfriend was driving, but I was also afraid of the pain of delivery! During the delivery, I realized the pain wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be due to previous painful experiences in my lifetime. In my early teens, I was diagnosed with extreme endometriosis. The pain associated with it was extremely discomforting to say the least! I had school, sports and the like, so therefore I was told by others that I had to learn to become tolerant of the pain. Each time, I would tell myself that it wasn’t that bad, breathe deeply and put my focus elsewhere. I developed a strategy just to ignore the pain and push through to the point - miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy, pneumonia; burns, cuts and bruises over the years were really not an issue for me. I developed a high tolerance of pain, even though in some cases, I almost died! I recently was reminded of my high tolerance of pain as I burned myself at work on a 350 degree oven! I quickly took a deep breath…said “oh well” and pushed through and focused on my work. Basically, I ignored the pain!

As I was in meditation and study, I thought about my high tolerance of pain and how it correlated with my past relationships. The first time that I was slapped so hard that I thought my eye was going to pop out of the socket by someone I loved, I told myself that it wasn’t that bad. The next time my head hit the mirror and the pain permeated throughout my body, I told myself to ignore the pain and push through. Looking back, I realized that I built up a high tolerance of pain in my relationships. Every time I ignored the signal of pain, ignored the red flags of warning, it cost me much more than one can even imagine. I tolerated the pain of severe abuse, cheating, addictions, jail, tickets, financial problems, manipulation, lying and on and on. WHY? Love? Sex? Loneliness? Baby-Daddy? Financial Help? Companionship? Low Self-Esteem? Maybe the answer could be all of the above!

Pain is described in the dictionary as an unpleasant physical sensation, feeling of discomfort, emotional distress and/or someone or something troublesome. Pain is an indicator that something is wrong and should be addressed. For example, I would have never known that I had endometriosis if I wasn’t in some type of pain. Now, we could go on and on about degrees of pain, but I think you get the hint! Pain is to get your attention, not to ignore the attention needed.  

Have you allowed each painful incident in your current relationship to develop into a high tolerance of pain? Have you ignored the signals of pain? Have you taken deep breathes and focused only on the so-called good when you need to address the painful areas? Do you need to re-evaluate the areas (or the person ) causing the pain your experiencing? Sometimes, you need to walk away from things to get clarity, especially if the pain is ever-increasing.  

Jesus Christ died so that we may have life and have it more abundantly. It is not God’s desire for you to suffer excessive unnecessary painful experiences. We all will have trials and tribulations in this life, but it is not God’s desire for us to wallow in them.  You don’t have to stay in an area of unhappiness and defeat - that is a trick (bondage) of the enemy- Satan! You can experience true joy, which supersedes happiness! When you come to know who you are in Christ, your tolerance becomes a shield of protection to God’s temple.  Don’t allow anyone to treat God’s temple (you) with disrespect - even you. Find out what God says about you in His Word beginning with His magnificent gift of salvation! God is all you need since all good things come from Him! Allow Him to give you true insight and godly wisdom into your future godly relationship of courting that will bring you to marry your Man of Valor! A man [or woman for my male readers!] after God’s own heart! Come out of the darkness of the enemy (Satan) - the bondage he has you in and be delivered.  In Jesus’ mighty name!God did it for me, He will do it for you!

Praise Be to God and With God’s Love

Delivered and Restored,

Dee-Dee McDuffie

07/4/2011

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Scripture Meditations: John 3:16 (NIV)

For God so loved the world that he gave is one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Psalm 31:1-2 (NIV)

In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge, let me never be put to shame deliver me in your righteousness (2)Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.

Psalm 121:1 (NIV)

I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?(2) My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 118:6 (NIV)

The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

Proverbs 11:14 (MSG)

Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances. 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (AMP)19Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own, 20You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, [made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8(AMP)
4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. 5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. 8Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecythe gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].

Tattooed

When I was in my teenage years, I didn’t have ownership of anything. I didn’t own anything that belonged specifically to me. The house that I lived in belonged to my father, the car we drove belonged to my father and the money that I had belonged to my father. My father provided all that I needed and because of this, I was very content regardless of the fact that these things didn’t specifically belong to me.   My father never made it a big deal to remind me these "things" belonged to him unless I mistreated them.  He taught me to respect the things that he had freely given to me because of his love for me. 

As I grew into my adulthood, I still didn’t have ownership of anything. As I watched others’ buy homes and cars, these were not things I obtained for myself because of bad choices. Between abusive relationships that consistently reminded me that I was not in control, and bad choices that proved I had nothing of substance (in others’ opinion), I looked for ways to have something of my own.

One day as I was conversing with peers about tattoos, I asked each of them why they decided to get tattooed. I was given several reasons from “I just needed something for me” to “its tribute to God”. As I thought about why I would like to have a tattoo myself, I thought this could be the one thing that I owned - so to speak. The powerful women’s declaration came to my mind - “My body belongs to me!” In my mind, no one could take it away from me because it was permanent. I immediately went out and had a Gecko tattooed on my ankle. I was so excited about it; I told everyone how the pain was worth it! Years later I would get another tattoo and to be honest, for the same reason. As I contemplated the possibility of a third tattoo, I resisted because I watched how others’ had become addicted and I realized this could become a problem for me. 

After I received salvation through Jesus Christ, I came across some young ladies who asked me about tattoos and if it was a sin. As I pointed them to scripture (1), one young lady reminded me that I have two tattoos, so what was the big deal because - “God had forgiven you, right?” At that point, I realized that my actions could affect the decisions of others. As I remembered back of why I thought ownership was so important, I recalled the experiences that led to this action. I was never the same after this conversation. I constantly wanted to cover the shame of my youth, (2) my tattoos. Although I watched what type of clothes I wore so that my tattoos wouldn’t be seen, I lived in constant condemnation. One evening, while in prayer and repentance about my tattoos, the Holy Spirit gently reminded me that through Jesus Christ, I didn’t have to live in condemnation, but our bodies are not our own (3). Our bodies belong to God. God didn’t want me to have to constantly cover the shame, guilt and error that Jesus had taken care of, but it could make my witnessing for Christ more difficult. I was saddened deeply by the fact that my decision to get tattooed, could affect someone else in a negative manner where they might disobey God (4).

Like my father, our Heavenly Father will provide us with all that we need to be content. He loves and cares for us and promises that He will supply all that we need! He also gives us the blessings of obedience and the results of disobedience in His Word to keep us focused (5) on right living.   When Jesus died on the cross for our sins, He was saying, “The pain was worth it!” for us all. He sacrificed His body, so that we could live and glorify God in ours. Why should we go through all the trouble of covering the shame of our youth or live in condemnation, when we could make the decision now to honor God through obedience to His Word? Although forgiveness is available, we should never test God’s grace and mercy.

It is my sincere prayer, as you read this, you will not mark what God created in His image.  I know for myself it has not been worthwhile looking for clothes to specifically cover my tattoos especially when it is a cute blouse! The Bible says in Leviticus (1) that we are not to tattoo our bodies or pierce them. When we mark the body (temple) that God allows us to move in freely, we dishonor Him, even if the tattoo was meant for Him! (6). It’s like saying, “God you’re work was just ok, but I have a better look for me so let me add a little something to it!” If like me, you unfortunately have made a mistake, I pray that you will come to realize there is no condemnation in Jesus Christ because He was “tattooed” enough for us all (7) !  Receive God’s forgiveness today in the name of Jesus!

You are beautiful the way God created you! Make the decision today to live in the body God gave you freely through Jesus Christ, tattoo free! Take care of the temple that God gave you and you will glorify the Most High!

Praise be to God and with God’s Love,

Dee-Dee McDuffie

5/12/2011

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Scripture References:

1. Leviticus 19:28 (New King James Version)

2. Jeremiah 3:23-25 (New King James Version)

3. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (New King James Version)

4. Romans 14:21 (New King James Version)

5. Deuteronomy 28 (NIV)

6. Genesis 1:27 (New King James Version)

7. John 3:16 (NIV)