“The buck stops here!” I’ve yelled many times. Why?
I spent many years watching the lifestyles of the broke, busted and disgusted because it was my life. It wasn’t hard to realize that #bbd was me!
The first time that I yelled that statement was when my daughter was born. As an unwed, single mother, it was a lifestyle of standing in lines, only to be berated by the social worker whom had just put her Bible down from reading it on her lunch hour. She’d stare at you over those 1920 glasses as to say, “Do you really expect me to believe that cockamamie story that you just told me to get some assistance?” As I rolled my eyes to ignore the social worker from Hell, my attention would shift to see the girl roll up out of an Escalade with Gucci boots on to get twice as much assistance as I did. It was times like these and baby daddy drama that would cause the D-disgusted to be worn like my favorite shirt. Always mad and angry, I justified my anger towards the system and a little boy that I hoped would act like a man. It was a vicious cycle of drama. Yea, it’s true, my girlfriends had my back in my presence, but I had to remember to pull the knife out before I went off to sleep. Their advice was to spend more time in lines to teach “him” a lesson. It always started with, “If I was you- and ended with girl, I’m glad I’m not you.” The looks, the stares and the whispers of the other side of the baby’s family and the world caused my mouth to run a muck with four letter words. More so, “So what!”…“I don’t care!” were my favorite statements to hide the hurt and pain I drowned in.
I found myself at a crossroads in my life, decision after decision plummeting me further into despair. Everyone telling me my life was going in the wrong direction, yet their lives too broke to point me in the right direction. I spent many, many years in this way but I was determined not to allow #bbd to be me.
I found myself though, having the same paradigms, actions and reactions towards my life and my daughter that I watched my family for years go through. How did I end up like them? I was determined not to be another statistic - (‘cause my foul mouth spent many times talking ‘bout “those girls”) - but now I’m one! What happened? Where did I go wrong, how the heck can things get better down in this deep ditch called life?!
After years of battling life, I was exhausted. I finally wanted to have more, have better and wanted better for my child. My childhood was not so cute; I was determined not to have those same traits, habits and paradigms of life poured into me transferred to my daughter. It would be years later, but the Love of God would touch my heart and give me revelation like never before into my situation. And He even gave me more revelation to get me out! After salvation, God would send pastors, teachers and a Bishop into my life and path who would teach me about generational curses. Curses of paradigms, actions and traits that my family, generation after generation, had struggled with and even more so used by Satan to keep us in bondage. But with the saving Grace and Mercy of God, “the buck stopped here!” How?
Accept
Accept the fact that there are bad habits, traits and paradigms in every family. No family is perfect. Take a look in that Bible, whew! Baby daddy drama, brothers’ killing each other; manipulative women- it’s nothing new! Now, on the other hand, there are families with good traits, good habits- so acceptance goes both ways. Accept salvation, Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, so that the Love of God can be poured into you and drain the sewage out! Accept and take full responsibility for yourself and what you deposit into yourself and the lives of others. Your life can’t get better until you get better with God. Accept #TheCleaner can do His job through your faith!
Identify
Identify what traits are those of a Believer. You also need to identify what traits, etc. you need to change. The to do’s and what not to do’s of life can be found in the Bible. I encourage you to read Proverbs for daily guidance. One of my traits sad to say was overspending. I appeared well off, but my bank account screamed, “Broke!” Drove a nice car, but only to park the car down the street to hide from the repo man. I identified that I needed to become a good steward over all that God gives unto me. It’s a process, so prayer and fasting and practice are good ways to break bad habits. #wakeupandsmellthecoffee and #seekGod
Become Unglued
Remember, change must take place. When we decide to walk with God, we have made the choice to allow Him to unglue us from the ways of the world. We can’t think, act or respond in the same manner as we use to. What we used to do in the club does not belong in the Kingdom! This is a process, so it takes time. It also doesn’t mean we are still “struggling” thirty years later with a foul mouth. As Believers, it’s easy to say, “I’m sorry Lord”, only in our hearts, not to really mean it. Or point the finger when we need to take a look in the mirror. Become unglued to the ways that you are used to and become all that God is calling you to be! #nokickingandscreaming just #obey
I Declare War!
Realize life is not a game and you only get one. Therefore, declare war on the Enemy - Satan and protect your family. Declare this day that “The buck stops here!” No more will you allow excessive fear, poverty, sexual immorality, slave mentality, etc to destroy your family generation after generation. Find scripture in the Word and speak it with boldness and confess it over your family every chance you get. Speak destiny into your children(s) lives, “Wealth and riches will be in your house!” “God has made you a peculiar person- you are different and set apart to be used by God!” “You are a child of the Most High God!” “I’m godly proud of you- good job!” #MouthwithPower Associate with like Believers, join women’s/men’s groups to help elevate you but alleviate problematic areas; and get an accountability partner- someone that can help keep you on the track to your destiny! Receive correction and get all that God has just for you!
#DP
(durable prosperity) - from teachings of Bishop B.A. Gibert, DWO Christian Center Church, Redford MI)
Scripture References NIV(1997): John 3:16: Isaiah 58; Proverbs ch: 2-6;12:1; 17:27-28 ; Ephesians 2,5,6; Romans 12; 1 Cor 6:9; Philippians 4; James 1(all); James 3:3-6; Psalm 112; Psalm 118
Be blessed,
With God’s Love,
Dee-Dee McDuffie
7/3/2012 dlm/dlm
